A Series of Unfortunate Events

It started on Monday night. We were getting ready to go out for dinner when Azman started to walk sideways. Ala ketam mabuk todi. “OMG!” He said, “I have lost my balance!” I never knew he had vertigo and he seemed fine so we went ahead driving to dine in PJ. By the time we reach Jalan Gasing, Azman seriously couldn’t drive and he pulled over at the curb and I took over the wheel.

I was like “YOU GOTTA SEE A DOCTOOORRRRR!” I was almost confident that he was hit with high blood pressure. Inside my head all possibilities came flashing one by one including blaming myself for serving delicious super terrific roast lamb for dinner the night before.

He was like “I am fine, shut up and drive.”

So I drove and but by the time our food was served he couldn’t eat for his head was terribly spinning and he was nausea. OMG Is my husband pregnant?! I am on the pills who is the mother?

I fed Miki quickly and we sped off to KPMC Puchong. As I had expected the first thing the Doctor checked was his b.p and syukur Alhamdulillah it was normal. He was however slightly feverish. They did blood test as well to check for his sugar. Just after I was relieved to hear he had normal b.p, sekali lagi aku nak pengsan when the Doctor asked if he has always had diabetes?

Diabetes = Aku menjanda.Okk???

Ok that equation is a bit too much but hell I was worried about my husband. His sugar level turned out  normal as well. Thank God. So what is the explanation for the dizziness? Well the next possible reason is his cholesterol level. When the Doctor mentioned cholesterol I immediately said farewell to my new oven. I was going to make meatloaf and roast lamb legs there ok? If Azman has high cholesterol. He and I and Miki and our parents and our rabbits WILL BECOME VEGETARIAN! Wait a minute…. In exception to Miki’s slippers for tea time snack, the rabbits ARE vegetarian, right?

The result for the cholesterol test hasn’t been released from the lab as I am typing this but I am seriously praying to God that the result will be normal and Azman is sihat walafiat. I really hope he was dizzy due to over exposure of Spongebob Squarepant full episode 3 that Miki has been playing over and over again despite having memorized all the stories and the lines and the songs and he has even told us the stories back a hundred times but he is still playing it it is so annoying panjangnya ayat ni aku akan jadi gile lah lama-lama tengok Spongebob macam ni….!!!!! *tarik napas* *hembus napas*

And then…

On Wednesday, I arrived home at 7pm. As I was driving with Miki on the passenger seat into my driveway, I saw my porch has been a complete mess. Burglars had entered our compound. I was calm. From watching all those CSI, I knew I shouldn’t tempered with the crime scene so I remained in the car and called Azman. Then I got out from the car and walk around the curb to see my wet kitchen/laundry room lights was on. I ransacked all the memory-recording brain cells inside my head (I don’t have so many); trying to remember DID I LEAVE IT ON THIS MORNING? All my doors and windows were perfectly closed but who switched on the lights ughhhh!!!

My next statement is not me being racist but honestly peeps, it is well known to all of us that there are a bunch of Indians going around the city collecting scrap metal for living. Sometimes they take a little extra initiative in getting more income by stealing. These guys are harmless in the sense that they won’t hurt you or break inside your house but stealing can still make one’s blood boil.

Only when Azman arrived we entered our house compound and found the boxes stacked neatly at the porch has been broken, the content spilled over the floor… Luckily, syukur Alhamdulillah they didn’t break into the house else we could have lost more than the three pairs on Azman’s futsal shoes, football boots, formal black shoes, loyang buat kek aku, a door stopper that cost RM79, a gorgeous wooden ship model that Azman bought in Vietnam and several other metal stuff.

Azman was kinda pissed that he lost his expensive shoes. I was kinda pissed off they didn’t take my shoes! What you people think my shoes takde harga ke?? Kasut aku lagi mahal lah!!

Anyway, our main suspect (the Indian scrap metal collector guys) was also the main suspect of the Police. The Officer that took our report at Puchong Police Station told us that their modus operandi is highly influenced by the latest Tamil movie. Why are you laughing? I am not kidding.

After Sivaji the Boss movie was released the were cases of burglary armed with parang reported. Simple because parang-armed super macho men with thick mustache had made a significant scene in the movie. Kebangangan melampau apakah ini haaa? Vodooooh siyalllll….

But the again, the whole mishap was indeed a result of our own carelessness. We shouldn’t have kept valuable things out there on the porch. Although the things are not really valuable for us but it is very tempting for those lazy idiots.

And then…

Today I walked out the elevator to my office, Azman gave me a call on my cellphone. His car has broken down at Kampung Abu Bakar Baginda in Bangi. He needed help pronto. So the super wife jumped back into her car (sambil rambut mengurai terbang style gitu…) and went to the rescue. The rambut mengurai is lawak ajerrr ok.. so I picked him up and yata yata yata… the car is ok already. It only costs around RM200. The sakit otak costs so much more.

Well, it is only Thursday. Do not know what tomorrow has got to offer. I seriously hope it is gonna be alright. Although it has been a pretty bad week but I am still positive and thankful because Azman didn’t have diabetes or high b.p. People broke in our garden but only took shoes. The car was broken but it was just a minor problem. God still loves me. These are all gentle reminders from above I guess. I need to get back on track…