New Moon is a movie based on a novel of the same name by Stephenie Meyer and is the sequel to 2008’s Twilight. I watched it during the weekend. I think it worth nothing but a puddle of steaming bat poopoo.
For someone who has not read the books or seen the earlier prequel, I believe I would not be less disappointed even if I have. The list of reasons why I vomit blood the movie is a failure to me can be amazingly extensive, and number one, it’s definitely because I am not 13.
The two hours spent felt like two years. The extremely slow pace was suffocating, the entire movie has so many kissing scenes and yet the real vampire must-have scene seemed to be intentionally left out. Leaving viewers with endless questions…
What happened to the missing backpackers/hitchhikers that were lost in the woods? Jacob denied that his pack has anything to do with it so it got to be Victoria. But if all I saw of Victoria was swinging from tree to tree and scaring old man to a heart attack, boy that’s just wimpy! Sad and wimpy! And these werewolves were hanging around protecting Bella from the avenging Victoria, and that she was gonna kill her. You sure? I didn’t even see her try.
What kind of vampire movie that doesn’t have any blood sucking scene? Answer- a shitty one aka New Moon. The only sight of blood in the movie was at Bella birthday party when she had a PAPER CUT! Paper cut, ladies and gentlemen! That is one notch higher in the scale of gruesomeness than a splat of blood bursting from a squashed mosquito.
Let’s refresh! Remember the part when a whole bunch of tourist was conned into going inside the chamber of the Volturi, and the scene had ended with screaming sounds. For goodness sake show us some action! Not because viewers like me are blood thirsty but because it can actually depict what these vampires are capable of. Setakat pegang-pegang tangan dapat baca fikiran… eii Ayah Pin Kerajaan Langit pun boleh buat! Dia tak vampire pon! Dia Melayu murtad jer…
And there’s another scene where Jacob has started to fight with Sam and the other hottie werewolves were ordered to “Take Bella to Emily’s!” I was almost saying wth? I don’t wanna see no Emily! I wanna see the fight?! So not only the director failed to show the vampires in action, he deprived viewers from seeing dogs’ brutality too. Same goes in the scene where the werewolves was chasing Laurent (gosh he made me wanna sing Boom Boom Pow!) Come on! Not all viewers are teeny boppers, some want to see how werewolves kill vampires. I think that’s a crucial part that needs to be portrait considering this is a movie about a wide breadth of the human evil breed.
Overall, scene potholes in New Moon are way much more than the potholes on the road at Puncak Jalil. Vomit blood!
And don’t get me started on the characters. I believe it’s the repugnantly bad acting, that even Dakota Fanning couldn’t help but don’t you just get started on Bella Swan. This girl is one intrepid, sick in the head and extremely bitchy! She needs to study, or get a hobby and get herself to college instead of bashing herself around men all the time! Sangat gedik ok?? Pergi layan Facebook la yang ko dok ingat kat jantan je tuh pehal?? Eii aku mmg anti pompuan gatal uols!
And her character played by Kristen Stewart is annoyingly forever lower-lip biting and having period pain. Oh by the way Bella, the whole cougar thing?! Is totally acceptable if the anak ikan looks like this! Mengerti?!
The effects in this movie are another thing that saddens me. Who made them? Is it the same maker of Agent Oso? The werewolves were so cuddly cute, if Miki had watched the movie, I am sure he has named Jared, Paul, Jacob and Sam as Chuchu, PinPin, Kamomo and Nonee.
I believe as much as flashbacks are cliché and boring, they are still needed on sequels. A good sequel must be able to shine on its own without depending on viewers to watch the earlier movie or read the book that it was based on. I will forgive Edward Cullen for having so many teeth but I will not forgive myself for letting myself fooled by Win, my ten year old niece and watched this movie!!!
Two and a half out of five.
Yeah, I still don’t understand why both Edward and Bella looked constipated for the whole duration of the movie.
And I too think we should bitchslaps some sense to both of them for being too intense unlike any other couples in the World who would at least smile while looking at each other!
Other than that I had no qualms. I like Alice anyway 🙂
Diyana…akak baru nak pergi tgk esok dengan bebudak ni…rasa berbelah bagi pulak…nak tengok Christmas Carols atau pun New Moon…
kak anie, saya pun pergi bawak anak buah saya sekolah rendah… pastu banyak sangat adegan bercium2!!! adegan keganasan takpe lagi.. tapi kalau camtu saya naik segan sgt dgn budak2 tu.. ishhh dah la boring…
well, this is another perspective..
most people are saying that it’s very nice or smth like that..
i havent watched it.. dont reall have the urge to watch it either.. haha..
maybe it’s about time for me to watch it and see how bad it is.. =P
Asroll,
Ahh.. you like Alice just because in every movie you just have to find a girl you like. But i admit in the entire movie only Alice has like a teaspoon of cheerfulness. The rest all dead octapus.
kenwooi, if you only hear those kinda comments; you must be hanging around teenage girls too much.. hehehhee… go see it and write anothe review ok??
Tau takpe. Yang lain semua expression macam tengah tahan berak.
hmm.. true bout the PAPERCUT thingy.. ADE KE ORG DPT PAPERCUT SAMPAI OOZING BLOOD CENGGITU SKALI?? *wonder..*
agree with asroll’s comments.. esp the CONSTIPATION observation! haha.. so true ey?
herry, edward look constipated la… but bella either has a period pain or headache or her contacts dah termasuk dalam kepala.. she keeps wrinkling her brows and closing her eyes? why? seriously bad acting I tell ya…
Dalam buku pun memang Bella Swan adalah satu karakter yang teramatla menjelikkan. I’ve read all 4 books and I feel like killing Bella every time. Dalam buku jugak, the werewolves suppose to big and menacing. Tengok trailer movie, they look like dogs from the movie “8 Below”. Meh. Disappointing.
haha tula.my adik siap cakap: “dah dah takyah gi..2012 lg best kottt.”
tak sabar nak tgk The princess & The Frog!! =p
Taylor Lautner u so hot….come to mama!!!
I hate to agree with u but btollll bnyk adengan bercium and baru perasan yg darah cuma time papercut tuh. But quite surprise mengapa rating filem ni jadik U bukan 18pg ke sx ke.
I think the director tu rasa tkt nak gamble buat adengan kemusnahan tu pasal dia suh jek vampire dgn dog tu ciom2 bella jekk.
haha… i pulak most of the time rase mcm nk slap edward and tell him to get a grip! so lembik mcm mati-bini! i hate bella for toying with jake’s heart!
the only thing i like bout d movie is jake’s torso… yumms!
katelah i suke pucuk mude ke cougar ke watever ke, mak xkisah u!!
mai okinokiyo,
thanks for reading my blog. tu lah, sayang kan? the movie could have been so much better…
.
.
d,
edward ramas phone dia sampai hancur ok?? tapi itu namanya CHENTA d! CHENTA! wahahahaha…
eii u ni ada bakat jadi sugar mummy! wahahahaha
.
.
Ummi, wooo rajin u baca buku2 suma. i think its just me, in real life pun i tak boleh blah dengan orang personality cam tu.. :p
the BEST vampire novel ever is by Laurell K. Hamilton. i am the type who like the climax to be on the second page of the book and *bam!* she really got me hooked!
and best of all, the ‘hero’ is a female with both vamp(s) and shapeshifter(s) as bfs with them looking as is they’re THE GFs. lol!
but then again after watching most of the movies originated from paperbacks, i think i am going to be damn disappointed should they decide to create a project for it.
after all, taking into consideration the budget and special effects created for such movies, id say, Kay prefers to use her imagination. 🙂
lagipun susah nak buat sbb as the story grows, heroin jadi almost succubus-like (sans the bimbo, megan fox punya facial transformation la).
tak baek utk tontonan kanak kanak 😛
WWWOoooooooooo!!! Sore!! diyana! heheheheheh… gile la review.. Wait til you get some Die Hard fans bashing you as makcik kampung yang tak patut pun tengok cite2 omputih!!!! hahahhahahhahhahahha…