For the past several months I have been getting many promotional e-mails that try to sell me babywearing items. Babywearing in case you don’t know, is the method of carrying a baby using a sling, a pouch etc and having both your hands free for doing other things like picking your nose or grabbing your partner doing the laundry, washing dishes etc. Oh, you know like those Indonesian women like to do?
Apparently nowadays the plague of baby-strapping gadgets is spreading in the internet market. I say internet because I hardly found any in the malls but man! those that had been flooding my mailbox sure come in different designs and methods of wearing. For example you get to choose if you want to have your baby strapped on your chest like a third boob, or lower on tummy (great for hiding the extra baggage) or at the back like some kind of living knack sack.
Mind you I have those gadgets too. The first one is Maclaren Techno Baby Carrier 2007 and secondly the HotMama Pouch by Melor. Pictures of my son in the Maclaren can be found all over this website. The HotMama Pouch however, hardly been used because Miki preferred THE MORE EXPENSIVE carrier. Spoilt kid! Tsk tsk!
Since our son was three months we have started to ‘wear’ him and he loves it. We wear our son when we go out for a quick shopping trip, or a quick stroll at the park that is not stroller friendly. Mostly on short sessions and because of the fact that he cannot walk without support yet.
Though we have two carriers, and though the Maclaren is so comfortable till my son can fall asleep in it, I JUST STILL DON’T GET IT! Why anybody would wants to have their baby strapped to themselves all the time like in the advertisement?
I don’t understand why would I need to wear a toddler that can already walk on his own? Especially at the parks where he should be exploring nature, touching the grass, the animals and learn about life? Didn’t we bring the kids there so they can feel dried leaves crunches beneath their feet and the wind blows in their hair?
I also can’t see the need to be carrying our baby all over the place while we are sweeping the floor or vacuuming. Why don’t we let them practice their motor skills and stretch those young muscles WHILE PLAYING IN THE PLAYPEN or on the floor? I don’t think babies and toddlers get much activities done by getting stuck on his Mummy’s chest who is mopping the floor. I know there are some babies that would just bawl once we put them down. My son is sometimes like that too but if we give them some toys or books to read wouldn’t they get distracted?
My point is, baby wearing is good only when your baby is small and still insecure. They would calm down as they hear your heart beats. In my opinion baby wearing is not exactly suitable for those eager-for-knowledge-and-experience toddlers.
Baby wearing is also very instrumental when you need to bring your baby to a certain places for a short time. Especially when the stroller is too cumbersome and he is too heavy to be carried with bear hands; plus you are in need of your free hands! For example the night market that’s too dirty and the kids might just get lost in the crowd.
Babywearing is not for long period of time. Be honest with me a 9 kilo baby strapped on your front or back not gonna be plenty? Maybe if you are this guy. I’d say it’s not very ergonomic. And I think babywearing a toddler would not instill much sense of independence and confidence in himself. He would be better off playing lego than playing a koala stuck on tree.
Bottom line is I just think that a child would gain more by playing and exploring rather than get worn on his mom/dad’s chest all time. Like Hafiy here! A lot of brain cells are working over there!
Ah! Just my two cents. Happy babywearing…
No photo?
Kat umah biar la dia bebas, kat shopping complex tu better dia dekat dengan kita…
can i wear cimiki to sit at the corner of pasar malam with an empty can. sure got banyak banyak rm. will split the rm 50-50 with cimiki har har har…
bani..ko nak mengemis pulak?! =P
ahhh…i agree. babywearing is only for newborns and young babies. Not one who has started to crawl eh? Bukan main penat wei nak carry baby. I tried it last time when Ashley was already 7 month and I almost pengsan. But i guess, some think it’s hip and cool to strap the baby around for many hours 😀
salam aidiladha 🙂
hi di, suka la baca pendapat u ttg babywear ni.. my DD is 1yr8mths, and i just discover bout this bbwear.. since maknye jenis obses bb gadjet, i bought one mobywrap.. zahra was freakin scare when i put her in it.. hahahahah.. me-LOL!
I agree with you totally… =)
Hi,
I came to this page from the link given by a friend.
Let me highlight a bit about babywearing… in my opinion.
It is supposed to help you out.. like going to pasar malam.. going to stroller unfriendly places.. when you wanna do a quick trip to the pasar/supermarket…
You can front carry, hip carry, back carry.. depending on your baby’s weight, the carrier, and the kind of job/chore that you’re doing..
It does.. and really.. it DOES help calm fussy babies.. especially those colicky newborns.. who never wants to be put down..
When I say it ‘helps’.. it actually reduces hand fatigue from carrying a baby too long. The job of carrying is now transfered to the cloth / carrier.
If you don’t mind letting a fussy/colicky baby cry their lungs out in the cot till the baby coo himself, and it’s working for you.. by all means continue what ever that’s working for you…
Or.. if you can just distract your baby/toddler with toys.. playing alone in the playpen.. or distract them with DVDs.. and TV shows.. by all means continue what’s working for you.
Parents / caregivers babywears to help them get by everyday.
Given the chance, I’m pretty sure they would not want to carry around another 9kg of extra weight, and even more AT ALL TIME, like what you’re saying.
On to the toddlers..
Sometimes.. an already-walking toddlers do wants to be carried, and the stroller just won’t work. Enough said. Note the sometimes here.
Again.. unless you don’t mind the bloody murder scream of forcing a toddler to sit in the stroller / walk .. sure.. why not?
Or.. you must be lucky having a baby / toddler that is so independant ALL THE TIME 😉
I myself found out about babywearing when my son was 2 months old. He was very colicky then. How I wish I found out about this earlier on. It would have made my life much easier!
And I enjoy babywearing.. for as long as my son wants to be worn..
He has found his crawling feet now. So, although he likes crawling so much now.. a lot of time he still wants to be carried..
So.. babywearing it very convenient to me.
So convenient.. that I decided to start a babywearing business to spread this good news to the rest of the world.
On the last note, quoting this comment of yours..
“Bottom line is I just think that a child would gain more by playing and exploring rather than get worn on his mom/dad’s chest all time”
I agree with letting a child explore more by playing and exploring..
but the word ‘all time’ struck me here.. how do you define “all time”? Is there a limit to it? say.. 10 mins at most?
When you say.. that you just don’t get babywearing.. I can see that it has become more of an inconvenience to you rather than being convenient.
If this is the case.. please just stop babywearing.
No need to make remarks like “playing a koala stuck on tree”, and end up with “Happy Babywearing…”
It is just so contradicting.
hi syaz – owner of JumpSac Ring Sling!
wow! what a long comment! thanks for your time. just to let you know that i am so touched that my humble opinion have created so much trouble for your friend to create a new conversation in the forum. hehe
so u own a babywearing business?! congratulations and dont worry, what ever i wrote here WILL NOT effect the booming babywearing industry. trust me and dont worry, ok!
hehehehehe
Hi Diyana,
Nah.. not that I’m worried that your comment would put a negative effect on the industry. Won’t hurt sales.
It might even boom up the industry some more in this part of the world I would say. haha.
And might give you lots of hits on yor website even.
And you sound like you’re flattered all over the place..:P haha
It just that I feel that your post comes from ignorance.
And I MUST point it out.
OK. You have a good non-babywearing days ahead yah! 😛
Hi dear, good luck to you too! i wasn’t flattered until you came back the second time because YOU MUST point it out. that is when i am dead flattered. hahahahahhahaa…
you made my day… thanks!
just giving my TWO CENTS..
And first lemme point out that I don’t wear my baby like 24/7 and I’ve yet to attend any baby wearing gathering. So my opinion is totally based on my own experience rather than being bias towards the babywearers community.
I agree that babywearing can be tiresome at times especially if you have to babywear him/her like 24 hours a day 7 days a week. But as Syaz pointed out, it’s for those babies who are clingy and refuse to be put down, and instead of having to hold him with ur bare hands, you can now use the carrier which will make life much easier for u. Luckily for me, I found baby wearing when my son hit that stage, and it helped me a lot in daily life.
Now that he’s more independant, and I mean MORE – but not totally, so I let him roam around the park. But there’s still time when he wants to be held close and cuddle up with his mother, like for example AFTER he gets tired of running in the park but still wanna go sightseeing and refuse to go back, so that’s when I babywear him. Or even when I’m in the kitchen, and he usually won’t let me do my stuff without me picking him up. Toys just don’t excite him as much as seeing me washing the dishes or doing the laundry so I babywear him and let him touch the running water. And tell him in details what I was doing, and why I did it this way and that. After all all, I found that my son delevop his brain the best when he’s close to me and I pay extra attention to him. And he’s the happiest when I hold him close, babywear or not. So like all mothers, the most important thing for me is that my son is happy.
It’s up to individual actually how to bring up their kiddos. If you feel like it limits your child capabilities then by all means don’t babywear him. Maybe he doesn’t develop his brain cells the best when he’s babyweared. But to those mom who can make babywear turn out to be the best for their child’s brain development, then by all means continue baby wear. And make the best of it. Your child deserves it.
As long as our niat is right in whatever we do, with God’s will, all of our children will turn out to be the best khalifah in our community. InsyaAllah.
Happy babywearing to all babywearers and happy non-babywearing to those who doesn’t.
hi bai,
it’s not “babyweared” dear, it is “babyworn”… hehe!
Hahahah Diyana I guess some people need to read your entry on babywearing properly lah before giving any comments 😀
Perhaps some folks are just too sensitive.
If ones niat IS RIGHT, regardless lah babywearing ka, kendong kain batik wearing like the maids do ka, stroller ka, it just doesn’t matter. We respect each other
I think your entry has been blown out of proportions la D 🙂
Ni tah apa pulak la comment nanti you get from my comment muahahahah.
For all we know, there’s a ‘war’ somewhere in the cyberspace on your entry 😉
Relax la wei. Chill 🙂
Ya Allah, serious I tak perasan pun all this war going on abt this post of yours… Betol-la, it’s been blown out of proportions! The keyword here is, CHILLEX!!!! cepat tol tersinggung sini sana.. kenapekah??? If you think you are right, You are right!! don’t worry about what people think. Apesal cepat na terkucil hati tu ek??
And ‘Babyweared’??? wow! Revolutionised and non-kampung habis-la!!! hehe
Hawa, bukan setakat terkucil hati je Hawa oi… dah sampai ke tahap mintak Tuhan balas perangai I yg tulis post ni ha… hehehehe
okay let me have my say pulak
i’m using that strap babywearing thingy cos i do think at times…i want to bond with my baby…and when my baby was 2 to 3 months old…she was a bit dependable…arent they all?
So let diyana have her say…let Syaz have her say…let Bai have her say…everyone is entitled to give their two cents worth…but please dont offend anyone…all the opinions given need to be neutralise
I agree with Diyana saying that she prefers her baby to explore new things…new surroundings…
I also agree with Bai at times we need to carry our baby when they are tired…a good cuddle can be relaxing to both mother and baby…
At times…by babywearing the children can also learn new things…for example iif you need to go to Giant to buy stuffs…put the baby facing outwards instead of facing you…that way you can let your baby explore new things….and also feel a stronger bond between mother and child..and i found i really help with my posture…i only feel pain if i am not carrying my baby right
And it sure is a lot lighter than lounging around a stroller to carry out your baby only if you just have to rush to the store to but some onions for dinner…
and dont lah baby wearing for hours…sakit pingganglah dik oi…labour pains not yet gone…back pain emerges…peh!
to Diyana…keep on blogging..NEVER STOP!
to others…its okay to agree to disagree…but please put it in a nicer way…at times we tend to dismiss others’ opinions because its either just clash with our personal opinions or we just too ignorant to know the other side of the story
wow.
that is all that i can say.
finally, some drama!
hahhahaa.
hey people, to each, his own.
everyone loves their babies, so, bring them up the way YOU like.
diyana,
coolness la, the ability to start all this drama!
🙂
hi
we use continuum concept /attatchment parenting style of parenting babywear and cosleep and full term breastfeed and use gentle dicipline in our family so i speak from some experience.
a newborn needs to be next to mum feeding frequently and sleeping the rest of the time ,and a sling is ideal to allow you to move about as you would without the baby ,
in fact people often dont notice the baby and express surprise after noticing the leg /hand poking out! slings let dad share the work and a baby shouldnt realy affect your social life til the chattering gurgling stage when they can be a bit of a distraction.
in most non western cultures babies are carried and exclusively breastfed til 6 months i call this the in arms stage during this stage you will notice the child shows an acute interest in whatever you are doing and becomes fussy if you do nothing or focus your attention on them too much
we call this the quiet alert state, theyre awake but concentrating intently on whats going on and in older children will crane their necks / move stuff aside for a better view
(this by the way makes for the fabled contented baby!)
during the in arms phase they learn the pattern of your lifestyle how things are done where things are kept etc after the in arms stage and they start to explore for themselves they have started to learn how you interact with your physical environment and others and they will start to copy you and help
i remember once how mathew soon after he started to walk was hoping up and down a bit distressed in the kitchen while i was dishing up tea and he was obviously hungry so i gave him his plate and he grinned and toddled off and put it on the table soon he would help lay the table and put the pots in the washing up whenever he wanted to and i have never told him to or enforced it
the point t feel you missed is thus :
a proper in arms stage / carried afterwards as they ask or as convenient
enables them to know what theyre doing!
and they want to know, more than anything (well exept boobie perhaps ! )
the conventional approach of leaving them in a carrycot staring at the ceiling or some toy dosent cut it and generaly babies are good at telling us .
so the sad thing is how few of us listen.
our two boys are confident articulate and very physicaly capable and mathew our youngest is very helpful and joel our eldest wants to be helpful but we used time out and other adversarial stuff when he was young which has messed things up and he gets upset because he expects to be forced to comply so if we ask he says no more than mathew though this is improving
joel age 4 is safe with trafic (in familiar and thus predictable places knows not to cross road on own) fire water and knives and can ride a bike without stabliisers
mathew 1 1/2 is safe with table knives and knows where the sharp ones are and gets the cutlery from the same draw but leaves them alone (he knows what theyre for as we use them with him in sling and has used them under careful supervision)
he is safe around fire and water
by safe i mean is aware of the danger and has been observed over many occasions to act responsibly to the point where im comfortable
by the way when you sleep next to and carry your children you develop a way of being that means your always aware of what theyre doing without thinking too much about it and i couldnt go down below on the boat leaving the kids on deck with no one around or leave them to close to a fire unsupervised or using knives withut being sat next to them
im sure that they know what to do and by and large let them get on with it but sometimes their lack of experience lets them down and they , often literaly look to you for help and you must be there.and i would feel uncomfortable if i didnt know where they were (by the way they do the same with us)
by the way electrical stuff and mechanical implements power tools etc are dangerous for any child as they are not intuitive like fire knives and water and can suddenly start working in a way a child couldnt predict from looking and reasoning although cc children may have a head start since they usualy recognize them as dangerous and give them a wide berth
the flip side to this is that by not allowing our kids to learn how we manage our interaction with everything we de skill them and they are robbed of a sense of self preservation and are more vunerable to accidents and have to be mollycoddled and are robbed of a sense of being worthy and wanted that comes from helping and being listened to.
sorry about the length but this is pretty much the most misunderstood aspect of family life, all the best phil
i understand how exciting it is being a mom/dad. but i’ll have to agree with diyana on this. stop living in denial. kids would rather play and explore new things than sniffing your shmelly armpits while you are busy mopping the floor! kalau jalan-jalan atau nak pujuk anak tidor tu ok le nak di kendong-kendong bagai. relax, mommies and dedis..
btw, that “playing a koala stuck on tree” part is dem funny weh..
keep on writing diyana. miki is super cute 😉
Well, as far as learning, I feel that babies learn more watching us do things, before they’re mobile, than by being sat in a playpen with toys. No, babywearing isn’t something that I do all day every day, now that my “baby” is a year old, but it is so helpful for when she is getting tired and I need to do things, or when I need to go grocery shopping with two little kiddos. 🙂