The Alor Star Drama

Last Thursday I was having dinner with the rest of the delegations from my company. We were in working visit to several high-tech plants up north and were staying in Holliday Villa, Alor Star. Instead of the boring hotel food, we headed to Pekan Rabu for some local warung goodies for a change.

So there we sat at the warung table, about eight of us including the CEO, two big bosses and other colleagues of mine happily chit-chatting about Permatang Pauh. When I was about to order my food, Azman made a video call so I got up and walked away to speak to him and Miki.

When I was saying goodbye a COCKROACH flew onto my pants! It was huge! I hate cockroaches! They creep! They stink! They climbed my leg!

On normal days I would have screamed my head off. But you have to understand; the CEO was there joining us at the warung, it must be pretty awkward for him and I must say I did not want my year-end appraisal to be bad to embarrass him further by my typical drama queen behavior.

So congratulate me now ladies and gentlemen- I DID NOT scream. Instead I did a little jiggy while holding my breath and clasping my lips together and the roach disappeared into the darkness. It must have fallen off my legs and crept away.

At least that’s what I thought. After a few seconds I felt the bug on my NECK! My long beautiful neck!!! Then I felt it climbed up my hair! MY HAIR! My hair!! Oh my God!!

You all think I screamed didn’t you?

Haha! I did not.

In fact I did not scream at all. But my little jiggy had turned nasty, as I waved my arm to brush the damned creature away from me; the cellphone I was holding in my hand flew into the ground.

I couldn’t believe my eyes. My cellphone was gone. I searched around and realized that it had fallen into the drain. No ordinary drain but one that’s so big and covered by concrete panels. On top of the panel there was a huge huge ceramic flower pot. The phone got through a small hole in between the panels.

Imagine the precision of my cellphone throwing act! The odds of it to fall through that hole was about one in a gazillion. You guys ever heard of categories for cellphone throwing in the Olympics? I betcha I could win a gold medal without my contacts on. Just make sure there are a lot of roaches around.

So my phone was gone. I couldn’t call Azman and see my little baby via 3G anymore. I was hundreds and hundreds of kilometres away from home and my phone was gone forever. On normal days I would have cried but then again the CEO was there. Isk isk.

I didn’t have any appetite too. Which was so strange even the CEO noticed I was not eating like I usually do. My immediate boss ( Hi Encik Rushdi!) was mean. He was laughing his head off. He taught I was throwing my phone at the bug and lost it. I wanted to kill him but then again I didn’t want my year-end appraisal to be bad the CEO was there.

Once everybody had done eating, the CEO said something very shocking. He said he was not happy about the whole thing and he wanted to lift the flower pot away. I was speechless. Well almost. The day I go speechless is the day they eliminate tolls on PLUS highways. Never.

So he went to the pot and searched around, my other colleague, Zaidi used his lighter to burn newspapers to get some light in the dark area. You have to understand this is warung area, dark, and not exactly clean. Once the CEO got his hands on the heavy pot, barulah my boss ( Hi Encik Rushdi! ) yang mengada itu came into the rescuing picture. It took about 4 of my male colleagues ( including the CEO) and one guy that work at the warung to lift it away.

My CEO got down to his knees, then ON ALL FOUR and peered into the stinky, roach infected, dark as night drain looking for my phone. He took a long wooden stick to stir around the water that was clear but so stinky dirty and spotted my big old Sony Ericsson. My boss was waving his finger at me like you are so dead Diyana, look at what you made the CEO do. I slapped my dongga forehead hard.

All the other customers was watching. The guy from the warung was the one who went down into the water got the phone. All I could do was gawked with disbelief of all the commotion I was causing. My cellphone was saved. It was drenched in the foulest smelling water ever but it was saved.

I hailed to all my colleagues – BOW NOW TO THE CEO!

I bowed to my CEO. He was my hero.

I tipped the warung guy 20 bucks, he was reluctant but I passed the money to his friend.

The story made it big once we were back at the office. Everybody knows the things I made our big boss do. I was amazed myself. I seriously thought I have retired. I guess my drama queen career is still not over.

Well at least I did not scream.