I was Fat on Monday and 6 Years Ago

My weight and I have a love-hate relationship. I know I need to put on some fat on my back but I don’t mind looking chic in an XS shirt too. To make things worse, I am the kinda person that once I lost some inches, finds it hard to gain it back!

Anyhow I was nice and fat last Monday. Then on Tuesday I was hit by an infuriating attack of food poisoning, one so terrible that I could not sleep the whole night. I was barfing my guts out until I have nothing to threw up anymore but green-green gall bladder juice. Then came diarrhea, every a few minutes I need to run to the bathroom to release poopoo so loose, my butt felt like it was a water tap. Gross.

By Thursday I got better. Only slightly feverish but my nose was running faster than Watson Nyambek. And much to my horror,I found that my clothes had mysteriously gone bigger. Damn! Just 2 days after I had a bad, bug infested lunch; I lost 5 whole precious kilogrammes!

That makes me a 45 kilos skeletal hot momma. I know that number is not a big deal for many girls but for someone who is 5’6 with lanky frame; not only it makes me ineligible for blood donation but legally underweight too. And when dancing to Shakira, a broom stick creates more momentum in every gelek than I do. Haha!

Anyhow, food poisoning had returned me back to my anak dara weight that I had when I was a first year student in UM long-long time not too long ago…

I entered the university as a healthy 18 year old, well fed by my Mama with home cooked meals and all those delicious Penang food that you can think of. I must have weighed 50+++ kilos because at that time I wore Levi’s size 27 & 28.

After just a couple of months of living in KL as a student, I began to emaciate. There was no Mama to ensure there’s food on the table when I got home from class; there was also no char kuey teow; no nasi kandar, no nothing!!! I ate a lot of fast food because regular food that was available to me at that time sucks. I ate a lot of First College’s cafeteria food also due to the convenience.

The fact that I didn’t have a ride helped too! Whenever all my friends ponteng kelas I had no friends to give me a lift, I walked to and fro First College and the Computer Science Faculty. If you have been to Universiti Malaya, I am sure you can make out the painful distance. And you can also reckon how high up the hill my Faculty was located.. That’s walking down from the residential college, pass the field, around the lake, through Perdana Siswa, across the parking lot, pass the library, the Science Faculty, then up up up up the hill… Phew!

From 50+++ kilos, I turned into a 45kilos walking broom stick within a couple of months. All my jeans and pants and skirts could not be worn anymore and I had to buy new ones. From jeans size 28, I switched to 24 and that size stayed with me for 6 years.

In 2006 I got married and ate a lot of healthy home cooked meals prepared by Azman’s kind loving wife – ME! So I finally managed to increase my weight to 48 kilos. Not that it made any difference to the way I look – like a model twig!

During my pregnancy, I ate like a horse and I put on more than 20 kilos! Weeeeee!!! My nose blew up to the size of an apple, my thighs like Beyonce’s a tree trunk and my butt got a few inches smaller than planet Jupiter. Need I mention the size of my tummy? At nine months, I was 70kilos heavy but somehow, I still didn’t need any maternity dresses; I was clad in stretchable Nichii dresses and spandex pants throughout. All those Modern Mum craps was too baggy for me.

After Mikael was born I became weight conscious for a while. My company’s family day was going to be held right after my maternity leave ended, I wanted to go and was afraid that I didn’t have anything to wear. That was the whole reason for the stupid anxiety. Anyhow thanks to breastfeeding, by the time Mikael was 2 months old I was already back in my 24inch Levi’s! Weee!! My weight was ngam-ngam 50 kilos, not too thin and just nice to suit my new title as a Mom! Everyday I eat a lot and drinks lots and lots of water too! Mainly to maintain the production of milk and at the same time maintain my 50kg weight. Which I managed to do for 6 months until last week. Damn.

I don’t have the time to be beauty conscious these days. I am 45kg and I am just gonna be happy. Though I know I have shrunk a lot from since I was 18, I have learned to really love my body. When you are thin, ladies and gentlemen, you tend to look younger. Plus there’s absolutely nothing that I cannot wear, and most of the time I wear it with a panache. Going shopping is easy, I can always find clothes my size, I even bought tops from Guess Kids!! I am saved from all the trouble of dieting, of buying Herbalife, of wearing a corset. Osim Uzap and slimming programme salesperson dares not approach, even when one does, I just look at her in the eye like a ‘ what are you kidding me?!” I love buffets and no matter how much food I stuffed myself, the bodysuit I was wearing would never be bulging!

But what I love most about being thin is, I get to motivate myself so effectively!

Just look at it this way –

Sometimes in life people will make you sad, treat you bad and with disrespect, let God deal with the things they do, and just remember THEY ARE FAT NOT LIKE YOU!

Weeee!